Kitty
by Bunny1
Summary: While waiting for the birth of their first child, Sheldon and Penny accompany the gang to the comic book shop, and run into Will Wheaton... Sequel to 'Purr, Purr, Purr' and prequel to 'The Baby Postulation'. Will be multi-chaptered. Now Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Penny was tired as she walked into her and Sheldon's kitchen. Her feet and ankles were swollen, her belly protruding and distended to the point she thought her skin would merely pop open, and the baby would just _fall _out! She was three days past her due date, and she felt miserable. "Hey, Penny." Leonard greeted from his chair.

Leonard had moved across the hall to her apartment when she and Sheldon had started getting serious and eventually married, but was still there as much as ever, with the rest of the boys.

"Yeah, hi." Penny said, waddling to the couch to sit next to Sheldon.

"I trust your nap was helpful?" Sheldon asked, eying her.

To say his wife had been "moody" the past few days would have been an understatement.

"Not really;" Penny sighed, "every time I'd get on the cusp of sleep, I'd have to get up to go pee. So, all I succeeded in doing was frustrating myself and getting a headache."

She winced, realizing how she sounded, but she couldn't help it. But, Sheldon only put a pillow on the table and propped her feet up on it. "Well, of course you did," he soothed, "you have at least thirty extra pounds pressing on your bladder at all times, I'm surprised you can manage to walk without leaking."

Of course, the other guys wrinkled their noses at this.

Penny looked all weepy. "I'm gonna be fat forever! This kid's gonna be six before I even know its gender!"

Sheldon tsked at her. "Penny, the child will be born any time now; likely that idiot doctor got your due date wrong. It happens all the time, because they are just guessing." he said wisely. "And, it's impossible for the child to be 'six'; the age would not technically start until it came out of your uterus."

"Sheldon, I'm sure Penny's doctor isn't 'an idiot'." Howard said a bit defensively.

Sheldon pulled a face. "Yes, Howard, your _cousin_ Murray is an idiot."

"He's delivered hundreds of babies, Sheldon. Really..." Howard tried. "You like him, right, Penny?"

Penny shrugged. "I like him better than my other OBGYN. He's funny and I trust him."

"See? Isn't _that_ what's important?" Howard asked Sheldon.

Sheldon muttered something under his breath about "extra unnecessary visits and examinations".

Raj leaned over and whispered in Howard's ear.

"He says that it's normal for preggos to have to have all those exams, Sheldon." Howard said. "He comes from a large family, he'd know."

"Isn't it comic book night?" Penny said suddenly.

"Well, yes... but we haven't eaten yet-"

"I know, but I want to get out of the house and _off _the topic of my uterus." Penny said, attempting to get up, unsuccessfully.

"All right, boys," Howard said with a smirk, "you two get one arm, we'll get Shamu's other arm..."

"Get close enough to touch me right now, Wolowitz, and I'll finish what the Moil started 34 years ago!"

Howard recoiled, backing away, as did Raj, but Sheldon smirked proudly, and walked up behind her, pushing on some kind of board/lever system that he'd devised on the couch, allowing her to get up...

* * *

Stewart's business was exceptionally well that night; he'd just revealed the second floor he'd added onto the shop, and everyone was there, including...

"Wheaton..." Sheldon growled in a hiss.

"Oh. Him." Penny said a bit flatly, not having had the greatest of experiences with him the last time.

But, as she turned it over in her mind, it turned out that maybe it was, considering he gave her a bit of courage to leave Leonard whom she wasn't suited for, giving her room to eventually have her Sheldon... her smile turned bright.

"I'm going to go thank him." she said cheerily.

Sheldon looked horrified. "Whatever_ for_?"

She was about to say, "for talking me into breaking up with Leonard so _we_ could be together", but, thought better of it since Leonard was still there, still a friend. "For... talking to me when I needed to vent one time." she shrugged. "He... helped."

Sheldon did a double take, and Penny bit her lower lip, realizing she couldn't tell him her theory, either, or he might find their entire love "tainted" by his arch-nemesis.

"It doesn't matter, Sheldon." she soothed, rubbing his shoulders from the front gently.

And, then Stewart and Will came walking up.

"Hey, boys. Wondered when you'd get here." Stewart said. "Hi, Penny..." he sighed dreamily.

Penny gave a little wave with her fingers. Will looked at her. "Wow... so, you're still hanging out with these bozos even though you're knocked up by somebody?"

Penny's eyes narrowed and Sheldon stiffened, his face turning into a growly sneer. "_My wife_ is not 'knocked up', as you so vulgarly put it." he said stiffly.

"Yeah, and you apologize for calling them 'bozos'! Maybe sometimes they are, but they're_ my_ bozos!" Penny blurted, and then flushed. "Sorry, that came out wrong..." she said, dropping her forehead to her hands.

Sheldon patted the back of her neck gently, and Wheaton looked amused, holding his hands up in mock-surrender.

"Sorry, sorry... congratulations on the... er... marriage... and... obviously not being a virgin anymore." he said to Sheldon.

Sheldon had a gleam in his eye now, however. "Yes, that's right... I have a wife, Will Wheaton." he crowed. "A _gorgeous_ wife, who would put even Laura Vandervoot the current- and impossibly badly written and acted- Supergirl to shame! Where is _your _wife, Mr. Wheaton?"

Penny looked at Sheldon with a mixture of meltiness and pride.

"Don't have one..." he mumbled.

"Yes, that's what I had heard..." Sheldon tsked.

"Yes, guess you won this one..." Will said, suddenly smirking evily, "May I say, Mrs. Cooper, that impending motherhood has greatly improved your rack?"

"You may _not!_" Sheldon huffed.

"Know what? I'm... gonna go see that second floor..." Penny said suddenly. "Who's riding on the elevator with me? Come on..."

"Raj, go with Penny; I'll be along momentarily..." Sheldon said, staring down his arch-nemesis, who was also staring _him _down.

Penny bit her lower lip, and then whispered in Leonard's ear as she passed, "Look_ after _him!"

Leonard nodded, and Penny half dragged Raj to the new elevator...


	2. Chapter 2

Penny was impressed with the elevator; most stores that added on only one floor merely added stairs, an escalator at _most_. And, that it looked like clear a neumonic tube was just... well, cool, and sure to impress the comic enthusiasts... Penny had long since stopped calling them "comic geeks", after being corrected by Sheldon a few _thousand_ times. But, suddenly, with a horrible creak, the elevator ground to a halt, stopping between floors!

"Raj, what's happening?" Penny yelled, clutching to his arm.

But, he merely made a squeaky, cat-like noise at her.

"Oh, you annoying little mute!" she huffed. "I'm going to start carrying a hip-flask for you!"

Raj gave her a_ look,_ and then pointed to her belly, making a penguin-like mime, puffing his cheeks out.

"Are you saying that we stopped because I'm too _fat_?" she shrieked.

Thinking better of it, Raj shook his head frantically "no".

"You're darn _right_ 'no'! Oh, I can't be stuck here..." she moaned, and then felt a sharp pain in her side that went all the way through her back, as though a firey hot knife was cutting through her. "Ohhhh..." she yelled. "Oh, Raj... my water broke!"

Raj looked horrified, and began pounding on the glass.

Penny slid to a more comfortable position on her hands and knees- not easy in such a small elevator, which mostly had standing room.

Meanwhile, Sheldon Leonard and Howard had seen the commotion and come rushing up the sideways staircase, put in for higher traffic or claustrophobics. Stewart and Will Wheaton were close behind them.

Sheldon knocked on the glass three times. "Penny?"

She didn't answer, so he knocked three more times. "Penny?"

Again, no answer, so he knocked three _more_ times. "Penny?"

Finally, his wife looked up. "I was waiting for you to finish..." she said with a weak smile, and Sheldon smiled back, but then bent her head back down, screaming out in pain. "Oh, holy _hell,_ make this _stop_!"

Sheldon looked concerned and grabbed at Stewart's collar. "What kind of a death-trap did you allow my wife to get into?" he demanded.

Stewart brushed his hand off. "I thought it was in working order..." he said uncomfortably. "I'm gonna call maintenance..." he mumbled, sliding past Leonard and Howard.

"Raj!" Sheldon demanded, tapping at the glass. "You get back there and help her until we can get her out!"

Raj eeped, horrified, shaking his head frantically back and forth.

"You will do it right now!" Sheldon ordered, and then looked at Howard. "Go call your quack cousin! We'll need him here, and on the phone instruction meantime!"

Howard nodded, ignoring the 'quack' comment, and pulled out his cellphone. He winced as another one of Penny's Tarzan-esque yells echoed off the walls of the elevator and out into the stairwell. She sounded like she were down a well, and Sheldon looked pained.

"Sheldon, _help_!" Penny wailed. "I feel like I'm being cut in half by one of those light saber thingys, and Raj is looking at my lady business!"

"Well, Penny, it isn't as if it's the 40s and The Stork or some overly helpful taxicab driver can help you. Right now, you're stuck with Dr. Koothrapalli, I'm afraid..."

Raj gave him a_ "Hey!"_ look, followed by a rude Italian gesture.

"Now, if _that's_ the first thing my child sees my mother_ will_ be upset. She's _already_ annoyed we're raising it in a 'godforsaken place like California'."

Frustrated, Raj shook his head and went back to trying to help her. Howard got behind, trying to offer assistance via his cousin's instructions. "Okay, Murray!" he said loudly over the chaos in the store, "She's on all fours, and... remember that scene in _Species_ when-"

"Howard! I didn't say you could_ look_!" Sheldon snapped, appalled. "It's bad enough _Raj _has to look, but he's stuck there and there's no one else to help her!"

"I'm trying to help, too, Sheldon; Murray's telling me what to tell Raj!"

"Well, yes, but..."

"Sheldon, let Howard and Raj help, because you know me and blood. If I go look, I'll faint."

"That's true, you are somewhat of a squeamish little flower, aren't you?"

"Really? You're choosing now to get sassy?" Leonard said, hoping a slight imitation of Mary Cooper would work.

It did.

"Sorry." Sheldon muttered.

"Well... all right then..." Leonard nodded.

"Okay, Penny! You hear me in there?" Howard asked.

"Yes! Owwww... Sheldon! You're never getting nookie again!" she declared.

Sheldon's head went up in stark shock. "Now, that hardly seems fair... you're the one who got me liking-"

But, Leonard's hand went over his mouth. "Sheldon, for the sake of everything, just shush." he whispered. "Women always say stuff like that, and they don't mean it. I promise."

Sheldon eyed him warily. "You don't know as much about women as you pretend to, Leonard. When was your last successful relationship? Has there really_ been_ one?"

That stung, but Leonard grit his teeth. "Okay... no... but, trust me on this one? Okay?"

"Okay, Penny, can you hear me in there?" Howard asked, yelling.

"Yes, and you better only be looking at the baby!"

"Trust me, right now I'm trying not to yak... there's nothing attractive to me at the moment." Howard said flatly. "It looks like a Venus Fly Trap vomiting up a large lizard monster. Now, take a deep breath, and push to a ten count."

Penny took a breath and pushed, screaming loudly because now it was a little stuck.

"Push again!"

She tried, but no movement.

"Again!" Howard persisted.

"Ahhhhh!" Penny screamed. "I can't! It hurts too much..."

And, suddenly, Raj's voice piped up. "Penny, just relax as much as you can. You push, I'll pull."

Overcome by the shock of hearing his sober voice, she quieted and did as asked. After a few more tries, the wails of the squalling infant filled the elevator. Raj wrapped the baby in his coat, and helped Penny to lay down. "It's a girl!" he yelled excitedly, looking around at everyone...


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours later at the hospital, Sheldon's mother, Me-Maw and Penny's father had flown in to see the little bundle, which was by now wrapped in a pink blanket and hospital toboggan.

"Have you got a name for the little bitsy?" Mary asked, looking at her new granddaughter in awe.

"Katherine Pennelope Cooper." Sheldon said proudly. "But, we are calling her Kitty."

"Well, now that's right cute." Mary nodded.

"You want to hold her, Dad?" Penny offered, and her father held out his hands eagerly.

Penny's father was a large, Nordic type; with big farmer's muscles and curly blonde hair, the same straw-yellow as his daughter's. Before Penny could adjust herself to hand the baby off, however, Sheldon squirted a large amount of a cold, gelly substance into his hands. Jonathan quirked an eyebrow.

"Ah, what's that?"

"It's called 'Purel', sir." Sheldon explained. "You just rub your hands together to rub it in."

"I know what Purel is..." he muttered, shaking the excess off after he rubbed it in, and then pulled a face. "What the hell kinda fruity scent is that?"

"It's Vanilla and Almond; not particularly 'fruit-like' at all. Research shows that these are both scents that are soothing to babies, so I mixed the two in my own sterilized bottle. _Which_, I might add, is much more sterile than the ones the product is sold in." he sniffed. "All those people brushing against them with their dirty fingers- you get clean when you use it, and then may as well use it again when you recap the bottle." he said, shaking his head. "Not to_ mention _all those people who _sniff _the bottle and not buy..." he said, tossing his hands up. "It's just _rude_ and appalling..."

Jonathan opened his mouth to say something, but, Penny shoved the baby into his hands. "Here, Dad. It's a _baby_."

Me-Maw, whose bright red hair had been the color of a merrichino cherry since 1965, looked over Jonathan's shoulder at the baby. "She's pretty, Moonpie, but she don't look a _bit_ like your baby pictures."

"_Momma_..." Mary hissed, appalled.

Sheldon nodded. "Yes, I know that, Me-Maw, but she looks like _Penny_."

"Well... babies change on a dime sometimes..." she shrugged.

"Okay, Me-Maw hasn't had her smoke break in about... ten minutes... so we're gonna go outside for that, since they don't let you smoke up here." Mary said.

"They used to, you know." Me-Maw informed everyone. "Why, when you were born, Mary, your Daddy smoked cigars_ in _the room to come visit ya."

"Yes, Momma... come on..."

* * *

Penny was able to come home after two days, and came home to a full apartment, with Me-Maw and Mary sharing Leonard's old room (which was soon to be Kitty's new room, Sheldon had hired painters to come in the next few days), and Jonathan on the couch. For now, Kitty was sleeping in a bassinet next to her and Sheldon's bed. Well, when she would sleep. She wasn't a particularly sleepy baby.

Mary knocked on the door, and Sheldon was sitting on the floor next to the rocking chair, looking helpless as Penny rocked, sniffling.

"Oh, hello, Mother." Sheldon said.

"Having trouble?"

Penny nodded, and she pulled up a footstool next to her chair and sat down, looking at her squalling granddaughter.

"I don't understand; she's been fed, burped, changed..." Penny weeped. "She won't sleep..."

"Sheldon wasn't a great sleeper, either, at first." Mary said, smiling gently. "Where's her pacifier?"

"Well, I bought a few, but Sheldon said it's a bad idea, because then we'd just have to wean her off it later-"

"Don't borrow trouble, you two." she said, walking over to the dresser and grabbing the package.

She opened it and pulled out a red and blue one, and popped it in her granddaughter's mouth. She smirked at her expression. "And, Me-Maw said she didn't look none like Sheldon..." she chuckled. "That's one of your faces if I ever seen it." she said, looking at her son. "And, parents today make too big of a deal about pacifiers. Weaning off that is easier than weaning them off the boob. Trust me, if they're a boy they never quite get over it." she smirked.

Jonathan knocked on the door next.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hey, there. She don't wanna sleep, eh?"

Penny shook her head.

"You didn't sleep more than 40 minutes at a stretch till you were nine months old, girl." Jonathan soothed, walking over and kissing the top of his daughter's head. "You know what used to work for little bits, though?"

Penny shook her head.

"You start rocking her, okay?"

Penny nodded, and began rocking gently. Jonathan walked out of the room, and then back in again, this time with a guitar. Mary moved for him to sit, and he put it on his lap, and began playing the soft strains of a 70s ballad. "She comes down, from yellow mountain. On a dark flat land she rides. On a pony she named Wildfire, with a whirlwind by her side. On a cold Nebraska night..."

It didn't take long before Kitty started drifting, and he stopped playing, leading Mary quietly out of the room as the tired young parents lay her down gently in the bassinet. Mary smiled at him. "You have a good singing voice there."

Jonathan shrugged. "Good enough for lullabyes and karaoke, I guess."

"I... have been known to do a little karaoke in my time..." Mary said coyly, and Jonathan raised his brows.

"Well... we might have to go do that before we leave at the end of the week..."

"Well, sir, we just might..."


	4. Chapter 4

When Raj came in with the Thursday night Chinese order, Penny answered the door. "Hey, Raj."

"Hi, Penny; how's the little one?"

Penny's jaw dropped. "Are you drunk?"

"Nope." he grinned, walking in.

"Well, I _thought_ you had talked while I was in labor- how is that now?"

"I think after seeing you in that horrific way, I no longer think of you as a female or a sexual being whatsoever." Raj said blithely.

"Um... thank you?" Penny said, unsure if that were a compliment or not.

Raj sat the food down, nodding. "Yes, it's like my sister, Pria, or my Mummy."

"Don't worry, Penny, I still consider you _very_ feminine and_ very_ sexual..." Howard wheezed from behind her.

Penny turned to say something, but, she heard a slight clapping noise and Howard fell forward, knocking her to the ground. Sheldon was there in an instant, helping her up. "Are you all right, Penny?"

"I'm fine, except Howard got to third." she said, dusting herself off.

"_Third_?" he squeaked. "Two and a half, _tops_! And... something hit me!" he said indignantly, rubbing the back of his head. "It wasn't _my_ fault!"

"Yeah, it was Sheldon, dude." Leonard sniggered, greatly amused.

Howard looked at the lanky physicist in shock.

"It took the near-dissolution of our friendship through an inadvertent slip of the tongue to an FBI agent for me to allow you to sit on my _spot_ for less than two minutes. I have not, nor will I ever, make a faux-pas to the degree that I would share my life-mate."

Penny grinned, leaning up and giving Sheldon a big kiss, pulling back when she heard the baby crying.

"I'm gonna go get her." she said, and bounced back to the bedroom.

"It was a _compliment_..." Howard muttered defensively.

"Pfft, you consider a 'compliment' to a woman smacking her on the butt." Raj said, sitting down.

"That_ is _a compliment; it says, 'Hey, lady; nice ass'!"

Raj shook his head at his friend and Sheldon gave him a glare as Penny came in, talking baby talk to Kitty.

"Who's a widdle Kitty-Face? You. That's right, you're Mommy's little Kitty-Face... Are you hungwy or do you want your pacie?"

"Penny..." Sheldon said, shocked.

"What?" she asked self-consciously, looking up.

"While I will admit the inflection and tone is pleasing and proper for babies, children gain their vocabulary, as well as most if not all skill sets, from their parents." Sheldon said firmly. "We talk to her like she's an Ewok, she will, in turn, talk like an Ewok."

"Yeah, that actually makes sense." Penny nodded. "I'm surprised we didn't have that discussion before in all the pre-baby discussions."

"As am _I_." Sheldon agreed. "Though, I guess I wrongfully assumed you would talk to her like a _person_-"

"I _get_ it, Sheldon." Penny said flatly. "Daddy is silly, you'll get used to it." she said to Kitty, resuming the "baby" voice.

"So, where are the parental types?" Leonard asked conversationally.

"Karaoke bar. I'm certain Me-Maw wanted to have a smoke with her beer, which, we don't allow smoking in the apartment, so Sir was kind enough to escort them."

Howard looked at him, very much amused. "You still call him 'Sir'? You don't call him 'Dad' or 'Jonathan'?"

Sheldon shot Howard an incredulous look. "Well, now why on _Earth _would I call him 'Dad'?" he asked, perplexed. "He's not _my _father."

"No, but he could be... he likes your mom." Leonard observed.

"Well, of course he does; everyone likes my mother." Sheldon said matter-of-factly.

"No, Sheldon... I think Leonard means he likes your mom... like wants to plow her fields, if you know what I mean." Raj said.

Penny's eyes bugged, her mouth making a little bow. "You talk like this_ sober_?"

"I told you!" Howard blurted out.

Sheldon's eye twitched. "He... does _not_..."

"Of course not, Sheldon... that would be... _icky._" Penny soothed.

Sheldon nodded. "Icky indeed. If my wife became my sister..." he shuddered. "Why, we may as well move on to Alabama and start poppin' out younguns with webbed toes." he said, taking on a very southern twang to his voice.

Penny giggled. "Oh, honey... we got married first... even if they were to... ew... get married..." she said, sounding like she was trying not to get sick, "we still got married first, so it wouldn't make _us_ icky."

"Well... all right..." Sheldon grumbled. "But, I'm not calling him 'Daddy'!"

Penny grinned at him, and Kitty let out a loud wail to her mother know she was hungry.

"Okay, okay, babe..." she muttered, grabbing a blanket and throwing it over her shoulder so that she could nurse.

"You're... you're going to do that in _here_?" Howard gasped, tilting his head as if to try and get a peek.

"I should be forced to hide in my own home from the perfectly natural act of feeding my child?" Penny asked him pointedly.

"Of course not..." Leonard said soothingly.

"Thank you, Leonard..."

"By all means, there's no need for the blanket." he teased. "Ow!" he laughed when she threw a pillow at him.

Raj walked past to get a lemonade, and he started making little squeaky, gaspy noises, as he caught a good view of what was under the blanket.

"Are you all right Raj?" Penny asked him.

Raj looked at her face, tried to speak, but all that came out was a weak, screech-like noise, like a sick vulture. Smacking himself on the forehead, he shook his head, but Penny smirked. "Oh, yeah, I'm a total MILF..."


	5. Chapter 5

"But, seriously, Sheldon- how come you still call him 'Sir'?" Leonard asked.

"Because he's... _scary_." Sheldon revealed, whispering the last word.

"Sheldon, my Daddy is a big ole teddy bear!" Penny laughed, adjusting Kitty to her other side.

"He threatened my life when we got married!"

"That was mainly because his only daughter- me- eloped without letting him walk her down the aisle, and my wedding dress was... unorthodox."

"Well, Penny, you know I couldn't have handled a huge crowd for our wedding like that..."

"Honey, I know..." Penny soothed, patting his shoulder. "I didn't mind... Besides, it was the most spontaneous, romantic decision you ever made to propose to me at that ComicCon in Atlantic City, and then get married right there, even if I _was_ dressed like Wonder Woman and you were Batman."

Sheldon smiled. "Really?"

Penny nodded. "It was hot. It was something... Han Solo would've done." she said, giving him the eye. "You... scruffy nerf herder you." she flirted.

Sheldon flushed, and took Kitty from her, whom she was trying to burp. "Leonard, get Kitty to burp, and be gentle with her. And... don't let them hold her, because they will drop her." he said, taking Penny by the hand and leading her to the bedroom, both of them practically running.

The trio of friends left behind looked slightly uncomfy.

"Wait, they _can't _be doing stuff in there... it's only been four days. Isn't there a waiting period?" Howard wondered.

"Uh, yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't- know what, _stop_ trying to make me picture Sheldon naked, dude." Leonard said flatly, bouncing the baby in a gentle up and down step.

* * *

Around two a.m., Sheldon was making himself warm milk when they came in, laughing quietly.

"Greetings, Parental Units." Sheldon joked weakly.

"Oh, hey, Shelly-Bug." Mary smiled. "Were you waiting up for us?"

"No, but sleep eludes me." he admitted.

"Perhaps because sleep has met you." Jonathan muttered, flopping onto the couch.

"Well, here, Moonpie, Me-Maw will make you a glass of her special hot cocoa." his grandmother offered.

"Why, thank you, Me-Maw." Sheldon said. "I always fell asleep better after a cup of that..."

"Prol'ly 'cause I put Khaluah in there. Deepens the flavor of the chocolate." she nodded.

Mary smirked. "Well, night, Shelly; I'm going to bed."

"Oh- okay, Momma. May I ask a question first?"

"Sure, sweetie." Mary answered a bit tiredly.

"What are yours and Penny's father's intentions towards one-another?"

To his surprise, Jonathan started laughing, as did his mother.

"I fail to see what is so _funny._.."

"Shelly, we went out, we had a good time, that was _it_. No... 'intentions'."

"Did everyone you ever dated have 'intentions'?" Jonathan asked him, amused.

"I only really dated one other girl besides Penny." Sheldon admitted quietly. "And, while Penny does not let me say the _name _of 'that pretentious bitch', as she refers to her, we were not in that sort of a relationship. It was more one of convenience, companionship and... science. And, I am not certain that Penny and I were not already in a relationship far before we 'dated' officially."

"What does_ that_ mean?" Jonathan demanded loudly.

"Well, it means that we were in love far before we were willing to admit it to _each-other_, much less _ourselves_, and that we had fallen into the pattern without realizing it." Sheldon said simply.

"Oh..." Jonathan nodded.

"What's with all the loud?" Penny demanded, coming out. "I've got a baby in there."

"Sorry, Sugarpea."Jonathan said, kissing the top of her head. "We were just heading off to sleep."

* * *

The next morning, Jonathan drove Me-Maw and Mary to the airport, and Missy knocked on the door.

"Hi, Shel! I came to see my niece." Missy said, hugging him.

Sheldon looked at her. "Oh... right..." he said noncommittally. "So... you're staying at a hotel?"

Missy smirked. "Yes. But, I have a present."

Penny grinned as she walked in. "Missy!"

"Hi!" Missy said, hugging her. "I have a present for the baby, the best thing..." she said, walking towards the hallway and pulling in a large bag of paints.

Sheldon looked at it critically. "Missy, she's six days old. She can't _paint _yet... Though, she may yet be a prodigy... She is a Cooper, after all..."

"Shell, it's for a mural." Missy laughed.

"Aww, how sweet... and cool!" Penny gushed.

"I was thinking Care Bears..." Missy nodded.

Sheldon gasped loudly. "I will_ not_ allow you to scar my daughter for life with those little demon bears that shoot light out of their bellies!"

"Sheldon, they aren't 'demons'..." Missy said, rolling her eyes.

"They shoot _light_ out of their _bellies_!"

"Okay, okay... something else, then."

"Very well... what?" he asked.

"Um... _Hello Kitty_?"

"No..." Sheldon said with a head shake. "Penny has some _Hello Kitty_ underpants, and we kind of made a little game of-"

"Sheldon!" Penny burst out, flushing bright red.

"Oversharing?" He guessed.

"Yeah..." Penny said, rubbing her forehead.

Missy grinned.

"Sorry." Sheldon murmured.

"Hey, I know, what about 'Women of the Comics'?" Missy smiled, knowing she was appealing to something he would like. "Surround her with images of strong women who don't take crap from anyone."

"Why, yes... oh, I like that..." Sheldon nodded. "I get character approval."

"Sheldon; be nice, she's the artist here..." Penny scolded.

"Right... I still get character approval..."


	6. Chapter 6

Weeks turned into months, and finally their little pride and joy was crawling. It had taken Penny a while to convince Sheldon that Gymboree was a good idea- he'd done extensive research on the whole "Mommy and Me" class dynamic and the helpfulness to the child's development before allowing his precious angel to be in "that germ-ridden environment with those little carriers". But, on the day she turned nine months old, he accompanied Penny to their first class, and looked nervously around at the other parents. Leonard, Howard and Raj had tagged along under the pretense of "she's our girl too", but, really- wanted to check out the single Mommies.

"Man... check out the blonde with the chichas..." a young, good looking Latino guy said, elbowing his friend, standing next to Sheldon.

"Well, since half the women are blonde here, be it natural or out of a salon, and all of the women have 'chichas', which I assume is some sort of slang for breasts, to which one are you referring?" Sheldon asked.

Leonard ran a hand over his face.

The man looked at him, gesturing towards Penny. "Oh, yes. That's my wife, Penny."

"Oh..." the man said uncomfortably. "Sorry, I didn't know..."

"Why are you sorry?" Sheldon asked blankly. "I'm rather proud to be married to her..."

"No, for... nevermind, I should go find my sister, I'm here with her and her kid..." He began uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair.

Sheldon nodded, and then a young girl came up to the man, handing him a little boy.

"Watch Tommy; I have to go to la cadena."

At this time, Penny walked back over with Kitty.

"Look, Kitty, Daddy's making friends..." she said.

Kitty waved at Tommy, who stuck his thumb in his mouth.

"How old is your little boy?"

"Oh, this is my nephew, Tommy; he's 11 months." he said, sitting him down.

Penny sat down Kitty.

"Kitty is nine months." Sheldon supplied. "That's two months younger than your nephew."

"Yeah, dude, I can do math..." the guy said impatiently.

"Yes, but, she crawls faster than him without falling over, see- oh, he just fell over again."

"_Sheldon_..." Penny hissed.

"What?"

"Don't be rude?"

"Pointing out that our daughter is clearly exceptional is not 'rude', Penny. It's not our fault her genetic makeup is clearly superior..."

"Right, and I see his mom, so..." the man said, picking up his nephew and going in the opposite direction.

Penny gave Sheldon a look, but Sheldon was all innocence. "What?"

"Sheldon, we want to make _friends_ here, okay?"

"Why? We have enough friends. Besides, he deserved that for checking out your... chichas."

Leonard smirked, impressed, and Penny got a slightly soft look.

"All right... but behave from now on..." she teased, giving him her best bedroom eyes before getting back on the floor with Kitty.

It was clear she liked that he was a little possessive.

"How did you do that?" Howard whispered. "Bernadette would have smacked me!"

"Perhaps you lack the subtlety and charm necessary?" Sheldon queried innocently.

Howard pulled a face. "Do not..."

At this time, Leonard raised his eyebrows to see Amy Farrah Fowler and Leslie Winkle walk in, and then over to them.

"Greetings, Leonard. Fellows." Amy said.

"Hi..."

Penny walked over with Kitty on her hip quickly.

"Oh, hello..." She said with false cheer.

"Hello, Penny. How nice to see you've almost lost the baby weight."

Penny grit her teeth at that "almost" crack, but said nothing.

"Hi, Leslie..."

Leslie gave a small wave.

"What are you guys doing here? Neither of you have babies... right?"

"Well, thanks to breakthroughs in applied genetics, rudimentary sperm cells can be gathered from a woman's bone marrow. Of course, the offspring can only be female, but... that is all the better." Amy said.

Penny's eyes bulged. "So... you two..."

Leslie nodded. "We decided that as we have the superior intellect of anyone we know, _our_ offspring would be perfect." she said smugly, and opened her coat to show a small bulge. "Four months along; we thought we would check out social facilities now rather than later..."

"Right, smart..." Penny said faintly, looking slightly horrified.

"So you two are... a couple?" Howard asked, looking giddy at the prospect.

"Heavens, no!" Amy said. "We will merely live together and raise our perfect offspring. My egg, Leslie's... synthetic sperm."

"Right." Leslie nodded. "And, occasionally have mind-blowing lesbian sex." she teased, looking pleased at Amy's blush, and the google eyes of Raj, Howard and Leonard. "We should go talk to the director, excuse us..." she smirked, walking off.

"Okay, we should come here every Wednesday!" Howard declared.

Penny looked discomfited, however.

"Penny, what's the matter?" Sheldon asked gently.

"You were right, Sheldon..." she said. "This... is a bad place. Kitty deserves better."

"Well, of course I was right..." Sheldon nodded. "Why do you people always act so surprised?" he asked incredulously, holding Kitty and leading them out the door.

Leonard fell into step behind Sheldon, next to Penny. "You were so jealous..." he whispered.

"I... was not..." Penny lied.

"Were too." Howard smirked, flanking her other side. "It was hot."

"You think Sheldon's bad about sharing, Howard?"

"Well, yeah, it's what he's _known_ for... well, that and many, _many_ other quirks..."

"Nothing compared to me. I saw how she was trying to catch his eye. I didn't care that the other one was half flirting with you, but... ten more seconds I would've gone Junior Rodeo on her ass. She's not the preggo one." Penny said, walking a little faster to catch up to her husband, and loop her arm into his.

Leonard looked at Howard and Raj, and they shared a smirk...

The End... But continued in "The Baby Postulation".


End file.
